Same Shit, Different Day

So...I'm figuring out that the more I go through life, the more I don't like people in general. They're stupid, ignorant, disrespectful, annoying, incompetent, lackluster, and the list goes on and on. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my boyfriend, family, and friends, but this is just saying as a whole of the human race. I had yet another encounter that has strengthened this feeling...

I was actually in a really good mood this morning considering that
1. its monday
2. i had an 8am class
3. the saints are playing on monday night football (geaux saints!)

All of that turned south when I got a phone call from a roommate's mom. Here's the back story on that: Last week, one of the roommates had a party and instead of taking the trash all the way to the dumpster, she set it outside the door. Me and the other two roommates weren't gonna pick it up. The simple rule is: YOU CHANGE THE TRASH, YOU TAKE IT TO THE DUMPSTER. Seems simple, correct? Obviously for one of us, its a daunting task. Well, it just sat there and in turn, we got a fine for it. Upsetting, but that's life for ya.

Well, this morning as I was on my way to work at my psych lab, I get a call from an unrecognizable number, but it's an area code I know so I answered it thinking that it would be just someone calling a wrong number. Boy, oh boy, how I wish that it WAS a wrong number, cause it wasn't. It was one of the roommates mom. Granted, she has the right to be upset about the fine. I was. However, she ain't need to be disrespectful to me about it. In essence, she was basically blaming all the roommates (except for her daughter) for the mess and the apartment being just filthy nasty. Where she got that, I dunno. She was saying that we treated her daughter as our maid and that she did all the cleaning. I was thinking that this is mostly bullshit. I have my moments where I may not do something right then and there, but I don't expect anyone else to do it for me. We're all young women there, and we should know how to take care of ourselves. She pretty much said that she was gonna move her daughter out...and I can care less. I'm tired of the mom anyway. She's always accusing us (more of me) of not doing anything and being irresponsible and this, that, and the other. The worst thing is, instead of talking to us as if we're young women, she talks to us as if we're low down dirty scoundrels. Honestly, doing that will make the respect points go down the crapper...well, they're gone now.

Pretty much what I'm saying is that I don't care for what she has to say anymore. This grown woman is one of the most disrespectful, hypocritical people I've ever met. I know for a fact that this woman does not get the saying "In order to get respect, you have to give respect." It's situations and people like this that makes me lose faith in people and in humanity in general.

Whoever Said "Better Late Than Never" is an Idiot!!

They say that honesty is the best policy. It is, it really is. HOWEVER, choose wisely when you bring up your honestly. If not...it'll bite you in the arse. I just learned that lesson, the very hard way. Will things be the same? Who knows. Hopefully it'll be something to learn from and move on cause I'd hate to be back to square one.

Think it's time to update....

...however, that'll have to be sometime that's not this week. It's hell week for me and I'm writing this from work. Ha ha!

But just know, there'll be something soon....

Better Late Than Never - A Rant

Friday night, I decided against my best judgment to watch the B.E.T. Awards. It originally aired at the end of June right after Michael Jackson passed away, so it was suppose to be kinda like a tribute show to him, right? Well, here's my opinion on that...

It was a hot mess overall.

First thing first, wtf Jamie Foxx??? MJ belonged to us?!?!? Last time I checked, he was a human being not a dog or cat or any other kinda pet. Yeah he might have broken down race barriers when he was a part of the Jackson 5 or early on in his solo career BUT he's an international superstar with fans from here to Timbuktu. Just because he's a black man doesn't mean we "own" him. If that's the case, I could say that I "own" AJ, Meagan, and Jermey because we all went to State.

And the performances (the standouts to me)....

There were the really goods...

Maxwell performing "Pretty Wings"...I melted at this performance. His vocals, the sound, everything was just about perfect. I could argure that it was the best one of the night.

Ne-Yo...what can I say, the man's got talent. Love the duet he did with Jamie, one of the couple MJ tributes I could actually see.

Mary-Mary...always liked them, so this is a little biased. But what can I say, they get me praising anytime I listen to them. I'll admit, it seemed a little odd to see them perform on this particular show being that they're in the gospel arena.

There were the bads...

Ciara...When she first started singing I thought it was a little boy trying to sing. Then I realized it was her. I'm glad that she did an MJ song, but did it have to be so somber?

Jamie Foxx and T-Pain...it was flashy, it was bright, it was mediocre at best. I don't understand why Jamie had the need to use Auto-Tune. He can hold his own singing wise. T-Pain, however... However I will say that I was glad to see that Travis Barker was looking much better.

Beyonce...firstly, I thought she had an okay voice but didn't really like it tonight. I'm a big fan of the song "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin. She did not do it justice. Secondly, WTF was she wearing?!?!?!? Last time I checked "Ava Maria" was a revered spirtual song. A long, dramatic dress would have been much more appropiate instead of looking like a slutty tooth fairy.

And there were the uglys...

Soulja Boy...I will be the first to admit, I fell for the act. But this performance was HORRENDOUS. He's dead to me. End of story.

Drake and Lil Wayne...Not a huge fan of Drake but it wasn't too bad. I'm callin out Lil Wayne. How in the HELL do you perform a "song" about f*cking ("loving") every girl in the world and you have girls dancing on the stage who look like they MIGHT be high school freshmen. Tacky, distasteful, and just down right wrong in every sense.

WTF was up with the "movie trailer"?! I didn't see the point in it. They mighta been funny characters on their respectable shows (Martin and In Living Color) but I didn't find them really funny. Also thought it was outta line and pretty forgetable.

And the MJ "tributes", if it can be called that, were okay at best. I mean they couldn't put together a montage of some of his biggest hits. He was a dancer so they could have had some of the best dancers (might sound cliche but there's Usher, Justin Timberlake, and to an extent Ne-Yo) do a dance montage. Something more than just wearing high-watered pants with socks, a shirt with his picture, or a glove on one hand.

Overall, I felt that the show was thrown together, unorganized, disgraceful as a "tribute". It felt like it lacked a passion for MJ. I had really just stopped watching BET years ago...yes, during my teenage years. I was reminded why I did. It's not what I stand for personally. All the "best" acts are just middle of the road to me for the most part. Most of the songs revolve around sex, drugs, and violence. And maybe it wouldn't be quite as bad if it wasn't so crude, in your face, vulgar, and disrespectful.

Makes Me Wonder

Today's been a sad day. The world lost two icons, Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Now in Farrah's case, it was eventually going to happen. However it doesn't make that situation any better. However, in Michael's case, no one ever saw this coming, nor was his chances of surviving cardiac arrest very good. Here's where you can check out some fast facts : http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2009/06/25/fast-facts-on-cardiac-arrest/

These events, however tragic, show that life is extremely precious and can be gone in a matter of seconds. All the grudges, all the hatred, what's the point of it? Yes, people can just be downright vindictive, cold, and heartless. People can do cruel things and they won't think twice about it.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that looking on my life, I need to find forgiveness for people that I haven't talked to, whether it had been a couple weeks or a few years. Life is too short to be mad at things that have happened in the past. Just gotta learn those lessons and move on.

This might sound kinda hippie-ish but maybe there just needs to be more peace, love, and understanding in the world that surrounds us.

Oh...by the Way...

I have jumped on board for a new adventure in the world of blogging. Me and that guy I cant stand A.J. have started a blog. Why I agreed, I have no earthly idea. Ha ha! But the point I'm making is you should check it out! http://arthur-n-alesha.blogspot.com/

One is the Lonliest Number

How can it be that you can stand in a crowd and feel so alone? I dunno how to explain it, but I know I feel it. Usually, I look forward to coming home to Picayune to get away from things up in Starkville and around Mississippi State. But I can honestly say that because of this lonliness I feel, I want to go away, far away. I want to be around my friends that I haven't seen in ages.

Honestly, being in Hattiesburg would suit me just fine. A lot of people I became friends with at Pearl River are there. I miss them.

Everyone's so Critical

Well, I shoulda seen it coming. I really shoulda. Thanks to the second blog that I wrote (thinking that no one would see it for one reason or another) there are two people not happy with me. One I could understand...maybe I did put a little too much info out there, but I was venting and ranting. The other...well that's a little sticky. I mean I can understand standing up for a friend. That's all well and dandy. But at the same time, I do need to let what I'm feeling out and I'm finding that writing is quite a stress reliever.

My intentions for this blog was never malicious. I just wanted to basically keep a journal, albeit a bit public, to let myself speak when I don't feel like using my voice. I'm sincerely sorry about how things happened, but I do feel like the damage is done.

Thinking on a Happier Note

So the last blog I wrote was a little intense. But now I'm gonna write on a happier note about what's going to be happening in my life in the near future. First, I'll be heading back to Starkville the first couple days in July. I get to see at least some of my State friends and boy do I miss them! Secondly, I get to start my Experimental Psych summer class and start work in the Problem Solving and Learning Lab. I know that it's probably just gonna be analyzing data, but that's okay cause in the fall, we're getting an eye tracker to play with! $30,000 worth of equipment and it's left in the hands of undergrads...it should definately be interesting. Lastly and most importantly, I get to see my Aj for the 4th of July. I'm really excited cause I haven't seen him since April. I just really, really miss him.

At the end of all this, I'm just telling myself..."Only 3 more weeks, only 3 more weeks, only 3 more weeks..." Hopefully they'll fly by, but if it's anything like the rest of my summer "vacation" then I'm just outta luck...

Cruel Summer - A Rant

*Disclaimer: There's a little mild language and is completely my personal opinions and feelings*


Summers are suppose to be a fun, relaxing, adventurous...right? Well this summer so far has been straight in the opposite direction. I won't lie, it was fine for a little while. I'll just go ahead and tell the story from my perspective. (Names have been changed just for the sake of things.)

Everything happened over just a matter of a couple days, but I'll keep the story short. First, I find out that my friend "Kim", who's married to "Steve", is having an affair with a guy named "Jack". "Jack's" ex-wife "Lauren", who left him for someone else, finds out about it (my theory), tells "Steve", and he kicks "Kim" out.

As you can see, I have NO reason to be in the middle of any of that shit whatsoever. However, I feel as if everyone (minus "Steve") wanted me to take their side but there's no way in hell I needed to/should have. All of them had it coming as I can see. If you're gonna be a cheater, don't brag about it and definitely don't cheat with someone ur ex-friend used to be married to.

And another thing, why blame me for something that not only you wished for, but were gonna do in the first place. So you were gonna leave him anyway. Yeah, it might suck if you don't get to do it on your terms, but don't get mad at the fact that it happened. If she really didn't want him to get pissed and leave her ass, she wouldn't have done the things she did. Now, I should have said something to her but I'm just the kind of person who doesn't want to tell people what to do, per se...maybe I need to work on that. However, don't get mad when you get what you wish for.

Pretty much, the point is since that has happened, I haven't really been hanging out with people. I'm sure I'll lose a friend, maybe two. But that happens to everyone. Anyway, I'm much more isolated from the people in this town. Sure, I've had the occasional visit with someone here and there, but otherwise I've been confined to these four walls. It gets pretty lonely, so I know I'll be much happier once I'm back in Starkville, where the people there are more on my level and I won't feel like I'm back in juinor high or high school.

So I'm Gonna Give This a Try....

Being bored makes you think of things to do that you thought you'd never do...so here I am, starting up a blog. I dunno how interesting my life really is gonna sound in words but I guess I'll give it a try. Hopefully you'll like it and maybe I'll actually keep it up. Wish me luck!!!

BTW...just in case you don't know...this is what I look like in black and white